Making the Decision to Heal
It is not surprising how many of us bury everything we can to minimize our pain and deny the insurmountable suffering we endured. I did–then, everything exploded in a horrible nightmare. This was the first time the horror was exposed to what really happened.
It is never an easy step to move in the direction of the source of pain. But, I will tell you, it is exactly what survivors must do in order to progress in their healing journey.
This was a very painstaking step that required every droplet of mental strength I could find in order to move forward and heal. First, I had to come to a point of acceptance.
Accepting what happened to me was something that erupted all at once. This particular event was buried so deep I didn’t know much of the details. My mind purposely kept me from seeing the trauma in its way of protecting me.
Forty years later, it not only surfaced with a full disclosure of moment-by- moment details, but it cause me to implode. In an instant, my day of reckoning blatantly kicked me so low I couldn’t get up.
Unable to move past it, I heard the words, “Complex PTSD.” I thought about how sick I became and how I had to come to terms with the knowledge place in my view. Taking that initial step of accepting what happened, and making my decision to stare at this abuse head-on took every ounce of energy I could muster in order to inch forward towards healing.
I didn’t see it in the beginning, but now I do. Looking back, I do believe it took an incredible amount of courage to face my past. It was not easy, and I encourage you to do the same. Face it; work through it; and then let it go. Easier said than done; yes. But, with courage, and determination, nothing can impede your progress!