The Emotional Toll of Trauma

After finding your ACE score, you must come to terms with the number staring back at you; and the emotional toll your childhood trauma has had on your life. For me, I had my own eye-opening experience after learning about my new diagnosis of C-PTSD.

As I presented in my first blog, the ACE questionnaire is your ground zero. From this epiphany, you will realize just how much your past has to do with your subconscious mind. I was referred to a different type of counselor who specialized in trauma, and she started asking me the ACE questionnaire As she went through the list of questions, without any emotion, I answered accordingly.

I had no idea what she was doing, but midway through the questions, she paused, looked at me, and with a flabbergasted look, she stated, “Wow, you’ve really been through a lot.” That was the first time I paused and thought about my childhood – for a moment. When she finished the questionnaire, she told me my number: it was 8. I had no idea what the number meant, so I had no reaction; other than, I asked her if that was good. In my mind, I thought of it as 80%, which is a B. This is why I am including additional information for you.

The ACE questionnaire was developed through a collaboration between the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and Kaiser Permanente. Their focus was to see if there was a correlation between mental and physical ill-being and adverse childhood experiences.

What they found was gripping evidence of the significant health issues associated with victims of trauma. The link between major risk factors as the leading causes of illness and death came out in this study. It showed cancer, depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, diabetes, alcoholism, smoking, and heart disease, as the leading causes of illness and death

Simply put, the higher your ACE number, the higher the likelihood that our childhood experiences are what makes us sick. An ACE score of 4 or higher means we have work to do in our own lives. It means we have to look at what happened during those moments that changed our lives forever, and, where we go from here to heal. The enormous toll trauma has taken on my own health is daunting – BUT each day I remain upright, and I give thanks to my creator who has brought me to this point in my life. I know the emotional impact trauma has had on my health: both physical and mental. I know this is not a journey we are supposed to do alone either. Today, I work very hard on identifying the emotions trapped inside from my past and I strive to be mindful of every thought I think. I challenge my beliefs when I am down, and I meditate on what my body feels.

Just for today, I pray that you will feel the warmth of the light inside yourself. I pray that you will find one thing to give thanks for, and my purpose in sharing my journey is to help you heal as well, as I continue my path. We are not alone; we have each other. Remember the universe WILL bring you the people you need in your life for this particular moment. Your thoughts can consume your mind. Make sure you don’t let your thoughts steal your peace of mind.